The more things change, the more they stay the same.

That little axiom came to mind recently when I decided, as a birthday surprise, to take my Disney-princess-pink-bows-on-everything-lovin’ fiancée (her inner child is eternally OUT) to the Happiest Place on Earth… within 70 miles of Baltimore, anyway. Specifically, to Dutch Wonderland.

If you’re not acquainted with Dutch Wonderland (www.dutchwonderland.com), it’s a quaint, accessible amusement park located in Lancaster, PA, a.k.a. “Pennsylvania Dutch country,” hence, “Dutch Wonderland.” If you arrive expecting to be greeted by a sea of blonde-bobbed haircuts, wooden clogs, tulip fields, or perhaps the cast from “WITNESS,” you’ll be disappointed.

Dutch Wonderland isn’t “Holland World” (or Netherlands World? Where are the Dutch from again?); and you won’t find any Amish barn-raising rides or scythe-swinging contests (at least none that I saw, anyway). Instead, you’ll find a “kingdom for kids” that isn’t that much different from the Dutch Wonderland I experienced when my parents took myself and my siblings there over 40 years ago (Dutch Wonderland first opened in 1963).

So despite our changing world where people now carry around devices that can make phone calls, shoot video, access a worldwide grid of information, do your taxes, tell you…well, close to EVERYTHING, I still found many of the same rides and attractions that captivated me nearly four decades ago (and still just as captivating). Like the monorail.

My family has old 8mm footage of the Dutch Wonderland monorail, the device that Walt Disney thought would revolutionize transportation, and there it was again, all those years later…not the same monorail, of course, but still…a monorail.
Of course, my cynical, I’m-an-ADULT-now! persona found cynical bemusement at the sight of people lining up to ride what’s really no different than say an airport rail or train; “Hey, I rode on one of these at Denver International Airport!’ I thought. The difference, of course, is that the monorail is up in the air, not underground.

Cynicism aside, it did harken back to a much more innocent time. And innocence has not been totally lost if the 4-year-old across from me who waved and shouted “Hi! HI!!!!” to the folks below as we wound our way around the park was any indication.

There were a few Amish “touches,” such as a couple andronic displays, designed to offer viewers a slight peek into the Amish experience…which apparently includes discussions about marriage, farming, sewing quilts, and the vagaries of baking acceptable shoo-fly pies. Disney has robotic U.S. Presidents, Caribbean pirates and singing bears. Dutch Wonderland has robotic…Dutch (Amish).

What’s special about Dutch Wonderland is, versus say a Disneyland or even a SixFlags or Kings Dominion, is its size. It’s fairly small. You don’t need to jump aboard a tram to traverse it. As my fiancée noted, she liked that the park was surrounded by corn fields, cow pastures, and little lakes and streams where you could feed ducks and geese. If Disneyland is college, and Six Flags is high school, Dutch Wonderland is elementary school—it definitely seems to be designed for younger kids. And for a couple who are pushing age 50, that’s perfect.

Major amusement parks can be…well, JARRING. My fiancée and I traded stories about the mild whiplash, the near disjoining of neck vertebrae and migraine-inducing effects of riding “adult” rollercoasters. Dutch Wonderland’s “Kingdom Coaster” still “pushed the envelope” a bit for us both, but was clearly no problem for the prepubescents in the adjoining car. And Dutch Wonderland even offers a more tepid ride, the “Joust Family Coaster,” about a fifth the size of the Kingdom Coaster.

There are 36 rides in all at Dutch Wonderland, and in our 5+ hour stay at the park, we enjoyed at least 10 of them, including the Sky Ride, which affords a nice-and-easy overhead tour of the park; the Gondola Cruise (there are a variety of automated water rides that take you along the park’ periphery), the Twister (sort of a giant top that spins around), the Double Splash flume water ride, the Dragon’s Lair (another automated water ride that introduces you to Dutch Wonderland’s purple Dragon {um, Barney anyone?} mascot), and the very nostalgic Wonderland Special train ride, a miniature train that winds throughout the park, complete with tunnels, ringing red warning lights, and whistles.
There was other entertainment beyond rides as well. My fiancee burst into laughter when she realized that a tune being knocked out by a trio playing a tuba, a saxophone and a drum was actually a Katy Perry song…quickly followed up by a Jonas Brothers tune.

Since this is indeed a “kingdom for kids,” don’t expect haute cuisine at any of the eateries, 22 in all, ranging from the new sit-down Merlin’s restaurant where we had lunch, to concessionaires selling everything from kettle corn to funnel cakes to Italian ices and, since it is Dutch Wonderland afterall, oversized hand-rolled pretzels, a distinctly Germanic comestible. (One indication I had not gone back in time was a menton of “gluten free” items on the menu, and a “kids healthy fare proclamation,” noted in my map-and-guide, indicating that not every food choice involved deep-frying).

Dutch Wonderland is also a kingdom for teenagers working summer jobs, and if the experience at Merlin’s was any indication, few teens have yet to embrace the Puritan work ethic of our forebears. Service was slow; our waitress didn’t bother to mention that my fiancee’s entrée came with two sides; when the manager came by to ask if she wanted her two sides, she said sure, ordered some cole slaw and onion rings, and was told, no problem, we’d have them in a minute. Well, that was about three days ago, and we’re still waiting for those onion rings and cole slaw.

But hey, nothing’s perfect.

Still, my fiancée and I found the day at Dutch Wonderland extremely pleasant, a return to the earlier days of our childhood, and it was fun to see rides like the “Wonder House”—imagine a small structure, not much bigger than a garden shed, which is turned, like a lottery-ball-tumbler, 360 degrees, with you inside it—still open to patrons, just as I remembered it over 40 years ago (though granted, it looked A LOT bigger to me back then!)

We finished the day, where else, but in the Dutch Wonderland gift shop, where my fiancée was able to pick up a few princessy items for her young niece and I was able to add a few knightly figures to my mini-collection (as a competitive fencer, I’m into the whole swords-and-shield milieu).

The cost for adults for a day at Dutch Wonderland was not prohibitive, just over $72 for two; plus a single season pass for adults is only $106.99 which isn’t a bad deal for access to a theme park from late April to early October and includes such benefits as unlimited rides and shows, free admission to special events like the Halloween “Happy Hauntings,” 15% off food and merchandise, and even a free round of golf at the Wonderland Mini-Golf course. There’s free parking, and “preferred parking,” nearer the gate, is $10. Dutch Wonderland has even “Gone Social,” as one sign declared, as you can find more info on Youtube, Facebook and even Twitter at FUN@DW. Coming from Baltimore, it’s also a pleasant ride, via I-83 and Route 30.